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Google’s Top 10 Writing-Related Questions ANSWERED

Updated: Jul 15, 2023


Do me a favor. Before you read this article, head to https://google.com. See that search bar, right in the middle of your screen? Yeah, that one. Type “why are writers”, and you should see something like this:



This is a list of ten questions that Google is asked a lot when it comes to “why are writers”. And I’m going to do my best to answer them, for those of you that are curious. 😛


Psst, try typing in something like, “Why are homeschoolers” or “why are parents” or “why are sodas” and see what happens. ;P Careful what you look up, though, just in case…


So, without further ado, let us look at why writers are…


…So Depressed

Well, for one, not all writers are incredibly depressed. If I’ve ever been depressed, I was not aware of it. Depression might be expected, though – after all, you have wars and broken hearts and destruction running around in your brain 24/7. Then again, most writers delight in ruining their characters’ lives in order to shape them into something spectacular.


So do I know why writers are so depressed?


Nope. XD


…Alcoholics

*blinks* We are? Huh. My guess is that alcohol makes it “easier” to deal with life. I’ve noticed that a lot of writers feel things deeper than others. We cry over fictional people. We get angry when they “steal” our plot. We bleed on paper. Sometimes that pain can get hard to handle.


My other guess is that drunkenness produces what seems like billions of brilliant ideas that are actually trash when you get enough into your right mind to look at them.


However, I’ve never been drunk, so I can’t say for sure.


Maybe it has something to do with writers being depressed? XD Beats me.


Or we need to taste it so we can accurately depict the taste and feel of alcohol for our poor characters. Seems just like the stupid kind of experiment a writer would pull off for the sake of the story. XD


…So Pretentious

…*goes and looks up what “pretentious” means*


According to the all-knowing Oxford Languages, pretentious means “attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.”


Heh.


Writers are artists, and a lot of artists (let’s be honest) are kinda snooty. We stick our noses in the air when people ask what we do for a living and say, with a dramatic flair, “I’m an artist.” *cue hair flip* And there is some reason to be proud of it – art brings flavor to a life that would be boring without it. Think of the poetry capturing the peace you feel at the brink of a bubbling brook; or the triumphant climax of a song that makes your heart beat all the faster; or that one story that had you both screaming and anger and crying your heart out, yet you returned to it again and again.


This world needs artists.


Unfortunately, I think some writers take this too far, thinking that because the world needs us, we are above all others. Our craft is the superior.


Not true. The world needs electricians and mothers and politicians and janitors and teachers as well. The world needs everything it’s got, which is why God gave it everything it’s got.


In summary, I believe writers are often pretentious (I am sooo using that word at every opportunity now XD) because we see the value in our craft, then fail to see the value in the crafts of others.


Correct me if I’m wrong, please. XD


…So Weird

*insert evil cackling* THIS IS MY FAVORITE OUT OF ALL OF THESE!!!! Whoever asked this was a genius indeed. XD


*serious for like one second* Let me turn you to Victor Hugo.

A writer is a world trapped in a person. -Victor Hugo

Guys, choosing to be a writer is a dangerous thing. Suddenly social stuff isn’t as easy any more, because you’re noticing how that one girl’s mannerisms could align with your protagonist’s perfectly — and then she catches you staring. Or you can’t pay attention to your friend anymore because your mind is desperately trying to figure out how in the world to fix that plothole. Or you get to know a character so well that they become alive to you, then you start talking to them out loud. (What? No!! It’s never happened to me. Uh-uh. :P)


If you truly want to be a good writer, you immerse yourself in your world. You know the backstories of every character, their quirks and flaws, their greatest desires and darkest wishes. You know them inside and out, more so than you probably know your friends or family. You are pulled into their world, and so can seem very out-of-this-world to those around you who are stuck in the horrible pit of “normal”.


Plus, I mean, a lot of writers have to do research on really weird stuff like how long it takes a person to bleed out, or what kinds of poison are the most fatal, or whether or not your heart can heal from a fatal stab wound. And then, of course, the writer wants to talk about what they’ve learned, which can quite possibly gross out those around them.


I’m sorry.


Writers are weird. Such is life.


…Important

I suppose I should be offended by this question. Rather, I actually find it both funny and incredibly sad at the same time. Whoever asked it has never read a book that changed his or her life. *hands them the Bible and LOTR and TWFS real quick*


Now, I already covered most of this (if not all of it) in the question about writers being pretentious, so I won’t repeat myself. But I will summarize.


Writers have changed the world. Think of Moses, Paul, and Peter. Think of Tolkien and Lewis. Think of Rowling and Messenger, or of Alex & Brett Harris, or their brother Joshua. Writers like these have taken the world by storm.


It’s not just the writers as people that are important, though. Think of the world without stories. Your memories? Those are stories, in and of themselves. Writers are just the people who write them down. What about the memories of others that have inspired you to take action in some way – whether it be to buy that book, to go to that Christmas party, or to say thank you for something? Those are stories, just told instead of written. Writers are storytellers wielding pens instead of tongues.


So yes, writers are important, and that was a very long summary as to why. XD

…So Attractive

Because of our magnetic weirdness. *strikes pose*


Seriously, though, I don’t really know. XD I’d need to understand what the questioner meant by “attractive”. As in beautiful? Charismatic? As a curiosity? You might have to answer this one for yourself. XD


But I still think it’s our magnetic weirdness. *returns to pose*


…Paid So Little

Excellent question. *taps foot* We should be paid more, ey?


Actually, income depends heavily on the way you publish. If you traditionally publish, you might get paid by the publisher to write books for them for a few years. If you indie publish, your income depends solely on the number of sales you receive.


So why do we get paid so little? Because books are priced so low, and very few people are willing to spend $85 on one book. 😛


…Reclusive

Because we have to write!! XD It’s really hard to write and socialize at the same time. 😛 Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of writers tend to be introverted. Not sure what’s up with that, other than you must enjoy being by yourself at least a little bit if you’re going to be serious about writing. 😉


…Crazy

*sniffs pretentiously and continues to hold pose* See the answer to “why are writers so weird”. *sniffs again*


…Called Hacks

*blinks in surprise* I was not aware that we were. Maybe it’s because our fingers can move so quickly over the keyboard that everyone thinks we spend all of our time hacking into computers. *waggles eyebrows*


Aka, I have no idea. XD

 

There you have it: my fumbling so-called answers to Google’s top 10 writing questions. 😛 What do you think? What are your answers to these? Do you have any “why are writers” questions of your own? Can you use “pretentious” five times today? Anything I got wrong that you can point out for me?


Until next time,

Take courage, pursue God, and smile while you still have teeth!! 😀

-Joelle

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