Write Your Worst (by Saraina Whitney)

Ok, I know, I know. I said I would only do tag challenges on Mondays now. But this is a story tag. And I couldn't resist. :P

So! May I introduce the Write Your Worst Tag by Saraina Whitney. This was super fun in a cringey way, and you guys get to read the results.

You're welcome. 😊

The Rules

1. Link back to the creator of the tag, Saraina Whitney

2. Include the tag graphic in your post

3. Thank the blogger who tagged you and link back to their blog

4. Display the rules in your post

5. In a thousand words or less, do your best to create the most poorly-written story you can. Indulge in cheesiness, stiff or overly flowery prose, poor grammar, and cliche premises to your heart’s content.

6. Break all the writing rules you want

7. Keep it clean, of course; do not take “worst” to mean morally so

8. Though you can make fun of cliches you hate, do stay respectful of other’s opinions

9. Tag any bloggers you’re dying to see try this, or leave an open nomination!

The Story

The accident wasn't her fault. At least, that's what Mary Jane told herself as she ran down the cement sidewalk away from the police. Accidents were accidents and no one could help them. Besides. She'd always wanted to run from the law.

Her feet hit the sidewalk again and again. Where could she go?

Why, there was only one person.

Mary Jane turned a corner. She turned right, then ran down two blocks and turned right again, then turned left and up a gravel driveway. The mansion was ahead of her like a castle, like a fairy tale come true. But the sirens behind her said that this fairy tale was set in the modern century.

"HELP MEEEE!!!" Mary Jane screeched as she ran through the big, tall, metal gates. A giant dog barked at her from behind a fence, and she jumped. Could it get out? Hopefully not.

The door to the mansion burst open, revealing a tall balding man in a suit that looked like a penguin had decided to swap clothes with him. "Are you in need of assistance, my lady?" he asked in a crisp British accent.

"YES I'M A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!" Mary Jane called, and, hearing the sirens getting ever closer, faltered in her steps. She suddenly felt very hot and dizzy. Her cheeks flushed. "I don't feel very well," she whispered, and fainted right on the driveway.

"Oh dear," said the butler.

"Move aside, Reginald!" In the doorway of the mansion stood a new figure, taller than the butler and with twice as much hair falling in wavy blonde locks across his sea-blue eyes. "A lady is in need of rescuing!"

The butler dutifully moved aside and the new man ran forward to Mary Jane's side. "She's fainted," he said to himself. "Oh well. I will carry her."

He reached under Mary Jane and lifted her into his arms. Having no trouble at all, he carried her towards the mansion, calling to the guards behind him to shut the gate. They did so and the police went away.

Meanwhile, Mary Jane was dreaming that she had been rescued by a knight in shining armor.

“Oh,” she whispered in her sleep, “how brave you are.”

“Thank you, my dear,” said the new man, whose name was Rob.

He carried her inside and laid her on a sofa. “Reginald! Get the lady a cold glass of water.”

Reginald did so, but Mary Jane was still not awake when he returned. Bob took the glass, looked at the sleeping girl, and decided that she must be awake to drink it. So he bent and gave her true love’s first kiss in order to awake her.

Mary Jane awoke slowly and gracefully opened her eyes. “Who are you?”

“I,” said Rob, “am Rob.”

Mary Jane gave a girlish sigh. “And I am Mary Jane.”

That very evening they were married in Rob’s mansion and lived happily ever after. Their son, however, had the misfortune of having to rescue a stuck-up damsel from a dragon. But that is quite another story for quite another time.

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*snickers* Not gonna lie, that was kind of fun to write, even if it's really really sad to read. XD What are your thoughts? Would you like to do this tag ('cause it's open!)? Would you be so kind as to write me one of your worst paragraphs as a comment? :P

Until next time,

Take courage, pursue God, and smile while you still have teeth!! :)

-Joelle