Waaaay back in September, I posted a Q&A between me and Google - Google asking the questions, me answering them. Google has this handy feature where you start typing in the search bar, and it autofills the rest with whatever the top searches are that match what you've typed. From those, I took Google's top questions about ENFJs and answered them, since I'm an ENFJ.
Later, I got an idea from a couple people to do the same series, but get each of the types to answer their own questions. I loved that idea. And, since I had a couple INTJs handy to cover my lack of mental energy yesterday, I managed to get this pulled together. Hooray for that Te! XD
So! Allow me to present two guest INTJs: Hope R and David Keener. Hope answered everything and David added his commentary, but they've both got great insight (and fascinating thoughts XD).
(For reference, Hope's comments will be in italics and David's will be bold. ;))
(Also, if you want to understand half the things they say, it would be good to familiarize yourself with the concept of cognitive functions a bit. ;))
The Questions
If you open https://google.com, then type "Why are INTJs" into the search bar, you should come up with something that looks like this. If you don't, please let me know how in the world you managed that. :P Anyway, those are the most-searched endings to your question. And those are what will be answering today.
...So Rare
Stulta quaestia. I don’t know why this is the first option.
I would ask who is asking the question and why, except I only see three options.
The people asking are people who wish there were fewer of us. They would kill us off if there were more of us going around. They want to know how to prevent us from being.
The people asking wish there were more of us, and want to know if they can make more of us be.
The people asking are INTJs on the bi-annual day that they feel a bit lonely.
Which is probably why it is the first question. Because the three categories I just listed is pretty much everyone who has ever heard of INTJs.
Nonetheless, as they say in Mandoa, it is still di'kutla tionir. Our rareness is a fact of the universe, and there are two types more rare than we are. Questioning it won't change it.
...So Mean
We aren’t. We’re just blunt and tactless because it's a massively useless waste of everyone’s time to beat around the bush. What we deem efficient communication often comes across as rude or mean, but that’s usually not the intent.
In all reality, we are some of the most open-minded, least intentionally mean people out there, because being a decent human being is simply the most mathematically logical way to live.
...So Attractive
I have no idea. This does not fit with “mean,” “weird,” or “cold.”
Based on personal experience, this is clearly being asked by the world's xNFx population. And possibly a few ENTPs.
The answer is that NF's tend to crave the (perceived) emotional stability of our auxiliary extroverted thinking, and our mutual intuition is generally able to bridge the usual thinker/feeler communication gap quite well. And ENTPs just tend to find us intellectual equals.
...So Weird
“Why” is a question of either purpose or cause. INTJs don’t have a purpose for being weird. As for the cause, you’re born with your personality type, but saying that we’re weird because we were born that way is a bit of a non-answer.
INTJs’ dominant Ni, which means that we spend a lot of time in our heads, and low Se, which means that we struggle with being situationally aware, make us oblivious to social norms. We break them unintentionally because we aren’t aware that they exist.
Concerning social norms that INTJs do recognize: social customs are not at the forefront of an INTJ’s mind, so by the time we realize we’ve done something socially awkward, it’s way too late to try to fix it without making it worse. Or it’s just too much work to fix it. It’s much easier just to let people stare for a second and move on.
Many social norms are shallow, polite nothings that are very unnatural to INTJ’s depth-loving Ni and accuracy-driven Te. It is a lot of work for us to align with social standards and the payoff for doing so is very low. Politeness is exhausting and tends to lead to more shallow, scripted conversation. A snarky comment either turns a person off or encourages them to reciprocate, putting an end to mind-numbingly uninteresting interactions and providing a shortcut through the smalltalk. Fitting a social norm is exhausting and makes the whole thing worse: it’s high input for low reward, which is illogical. Doing illogical things annoys INTJs.
When INTJs think a custom is stupid, we deliberately break it in an (often futile) effort not to perpetuate something bad.
...So Cold
INTJs hate things that are shallow or meaningless. To invite conversation with a complete stranger is to run the risk of accumulating shallow, meaningless relationships that are exhausting to maintain. Doing pointless things is an endless source of frustration, so we avoid boring interactions in an effort to avoid frustration. If you’re the unlucky fifth or sixth person who’s tried to strike up a conversation at an event, you’re getting the INTJ at their worst—tired, bored, stuck, and frustrated.
INTJs' tertiary function is Fi. Because this function is in the 3rd slot of their function stack, and because it is introverted rather than extroverted, it tends to be less mature than the other functions and is the hardest to observe. Thus we can be incredibly inexpressive, especially when running on the dregs of our social battery.
Being socially oblivious is another part of this. We don’t always realize how we’re being perceived.
...So Cute
This is ridiculous. Your personality type has nothing to do with your physical appearance.
Agreed, though they may be referring more to our behaviors and observable personality quirks than our actual physique.
...So Quiet
Dominant Ni: we spend a lot of time in our heads because it’s energizing and generally more interesting than talking to people. However, the stereotype of being quiet is not entirely accurate. When we’re explaining or discussing a topic that we find interesting, we can be talkative to the point of being mistaken for an extrovert. This tendency can appear (or be) know-it-allish and demeaning, adding to the reputation of being mean (question 2).
...So Smart
INTJs' dominant function, Ni, is good at seeing patterns and finding the common denominator between different things. Our auxiliary (second) Te gives us an articulate and streamlined communication style, so when we’re clearly explaining a connection we look really smart.
For me personally, fixing miscommunications is way more work than it’s worth. I want to be clear and precise the first time as a preventative. Also if you make yourself sound smart you encourage a higher level of conversation, which is more interesting.
Also, we dislike being wrong, so we usually don't add to a conversation till we've had time to think through everything that has been said and examine it for potential errors so we can come up with a calculated train of thought that at least sounds right.
This analytical process adds to our tendency to be quiet (question 7), and we often don't think of something to say till the conversation topic has changed three times already. This adds to our weirdness (question four).
...Villains
The sarcastic answer: we’re villains because we’re brilliant (the means) and people are annoying (the motive). Given the circumstances it’s the most logical career path.
The serious answer: people perceive INTJs as mean (question 2) and smart (question 8), the combination of which equals villain.
Given the circumstances, our natural tendency is to develop a savior complex, fall into depression when we realize the rest of the world is never going to let us save it, and from there develop a passionate desire to just watch it all burn.
Of course, We're too notoriously lazy to actually set the world on fire all by ourselves, and we're too socially inept to recruit help. The actual villains are disillusioned ENFJs, because their ability to bond with other people's emotions means they can gather a cult following to help them burn the world down. Us INTJs are just going to sit and watch.
...So Rude
We seem rude for the same reasons that we seem mean. Our direct and logical communication style is often mistaken for rudeness.
As far as "type favorites" go, INTJs are pretty high on my list. XD Although that ENFJ jab might knock them down a few points. XP What about you guys? What are some of your burning questions about INTJs? Do you know any? If you are an INTJ, how would you answer these questions? What type should I try for next?
Big shoutout to Hope and David for helping me out with this. I owe you guys one. :)
Until next time,
Take courage, pursue God, and smile while you still have teeth!! ^_^